The 4th of July is a day people spend with their families and friends, often over a barbecue. When my wife and I moved to America about ten years ago, we didn’t know many people yet. The first July 4th we spent here we didn’t get an invitation to a barbecue. We didn’t mind. Instead, we decided to get lunch in a San Francisco restaurant. We didn’t know many restaurants yet either, so we drove downtown, parked our car and walked around to find one that looked nice.
Normally when we try to decide on a restaurant, there’s some negotiation involved. Sometimes the negotiation turns a little heated. On that July 4th, we decided on a nice-looking place serving omelets, salads and sandwiches. There was less negotiation than normally because we both agreed that the place looked great. Even though it was a public holiday we got a table next to the window. We sat down and ordered. She got the house burger and I got the Reuben sandwich.
I also ordered some drip coffee. I had finished the first cup before the food arrived. The waiter immediately refilled it. By the end of the meal I’ve had four cups and felt jittery. I may also have talked too fast and laughed too loud at my own jokes. Fortunately, my wife hardly ever looks in me in a disapproving way. Or at least not in disapproving way I can pick up on, and over the years I’ve become good at picking up on her hidden meanings.
After 45 minutes we were done and it was time to pay and leave. I tried to get the waiter’s attention, which is something that I’m normally bad at. But that particular waiter was great, and he immediately came over.
“Could I have the check please?”
“That’s not going to be necessary.”
“What do you mean?”
“You check has been paid already.”
At this point I grew suspicious.
“Someone paid for us? Who?”
“I promised not to say.”
My wife and I looked around to see if there was anyone who looked like they may be behind this. Maybe someone sitting in the corner slyly winking at us? But no, everybody was busy with their meals and having a great time. We tried to get more information out of the waiter, but to no avail. The only thing we got out of him was a promise to pass our Thank You on to our anonymous benefactor.
This happened a little more than three years ago. We still don’t know who paid for us or why. I don’t think we looked particularly poor or otherwise appeared in need of charity.
My only explanation is that someone thought that on July the 4th, they wanted to commit a random act of kindness. I like to think it was their way to welcome two newcomers who didn’t know many people yet on Independence Day. It worked, because it made us feel welcome.
I’ve tried to pass on this kindness on to others. I will sometimes pay for strangers’ meals, or their bridge toll, or their drink. When I do this, I try to stay anonymous, because I believe that’s the only way to make sure that this does not become transactional. Maybe, this will make someone else feel welcome and part of a greater community. Because sometimes, and especially on July 4th, there should be such a thing as a free lunch.
Nehaveigur 