Whenever I have to catch an early flight and get up at 4 am, I wonder, why I’m doing this to myself? Why don’t I stay home, sleep in and read a book? The dread peaks as I brush my teeth, glancing at my phone every few seconds, wondering if my ride to the airport is going to show up. It only fully passes once I’ve arrived at my destination when I remember why I like traveling.
It’s not just travel: From the moment I get invited to a party, I dread having to go there, even though I know from experience there’s a good chance I’ll enjoy it. It’s a reluctance to do anything out of my comfort zone.
Maybe Dread is too grand a word. Laziness is more accurate. By now, I’ve come to accept that ignoring and fighting this kind of laziness is the only way I will ever do things that are interesting.
There’s another kind of laziness that doesn’t come from not wanting to do something new or challenging, but from not wanting to do anything that I’ve done many times before. That kind of laziness has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. Part of becoming more experienced is learning what I dislike, like getting up early, traffic jams, delayed airplanes, shopping malls and committee meetings.
The challenge is to know if the hesitancy I’m feeling comes from venturing out of my comfort zone and should be ignored, or if it comes from experience telling me that what I’m planning is boring, in which case I should listen to it.
Nehaveigur 